it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
