So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
