Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
