no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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