That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
