I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
