I forgot how hot balto sounded
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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