I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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