Sponge bath it is.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
