I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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