Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Drake has all the answers
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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