Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
