guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Who died my cat blue again?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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