So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
