at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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