I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
