mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
