what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
