He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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