I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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