whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
