I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
