a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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