And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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