PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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