My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
