when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
