My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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