All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
