No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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