worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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