So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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