You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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