idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
