I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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