He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
