i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
The adults are the big ones right?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
