I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
