HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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