I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
