You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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