I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Everything about him screamed your future.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
