VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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