Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
