Can i not drive my cunt home
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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