i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
