What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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