Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just made out with a guy for $7.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
