What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
