i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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