I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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